Grace

It’s one thing that you grace my presence, its another to take it all for granted. I have a face that you never see but you say my love is all that you wanted.

Thanks for the words but without the slightest of touch, it’s a hollow heart and as my hand slips from yours it doesn’t seem like much.

Thanks but did you notice I was dead on the inside, the petals of our courtship falling down, while my soul glides…

… Looking for tribe, a place to belong. A safe space, trying to keep holding on.

The air cools and I inhale, breathe, the slight pounding of my heart reminding me that I’m actually alive. I dread the dawn and wonder how I will survive.

Everything I had I gave to you, now that’s gone and I’m running on fumes, is there any space left in your soul before I pull this trigger … Boom.

D March 2017

Stigma

Of course I could make it all better by stopping these pills and stopping pretending to be ill. I’m sick of your outdated attitude that mental illness could be stopped by the power of will.

Of course the royals are great and these new fangled computers will seal our fate. Don’t you know it’s you not the world that is out of date.

And yes it’s the immigrants who are stealing all our jobs. And those on the claim are ignorant slobs.

I could give you a million pound in gold and you would moan that its wasn’t made in Britain and as good as what they made in the 60s. To you I’m just a burnt out waste of space playing sickly.

But you forget the legacy you leave me and my children. A burnt out planet and a suicidal kingdom. I pity you for what you can’t see, and stigma you project will not hurt me.

D March 2017

Of mice and demons

Whistle down lane,

Welcome the caged insane,

Spare no words for the lame,

Never the same again.

Quivering in their beds,

All the things she said,

Pied Piper who lead,

Into mind valley dead.

Hotel California,

We’re coming for you,

Part of the formula,

Last of few who knew that,

Demons have made their pacts,

And,

This is the madhouse …

… For you to be used like a lab mouse.

D March 2017

Codependency

You said you needed me to almost insure your existence. I’m sure that this is what they meant by codependency.

You still rendered nightmares nightly, with reinforced doors against unseen persecutions. You gave me arms to hold me while I carried on my electrocutions.

Wired to the world twenty four seven, I was no joy ride, a step for you to heaven. Then I’m reminded if tonight is my last breath, as my mind from this relationship had already left.

They’ve come for me now my dear and I need to run, I know I left you staring for hope, directly at the sun.

D March 2017

Butterflies

I’ve watched stars falling, I’ve seen gods stalling, by your unholy words spoken, even the dead would be woken.

So now I think its time to tell you, I’m just a friend who cares for what you do, ripping out my heart to rescue yours, but your mind is so many broken doors.

When is the right time to let go, when life just imprints it must be so, that you’ve been raided so many times and I cannot erase another’s crime.

So I’m left with this scene, you and me and the inbetween. Leave you at the mercy of fate, but for that there’s always going to be a part of me I hate.

For you could have of been a butterfly, instead you turned out a mantis, more important to rip my head off, than let yourself try for bliss.

D March 2017

Crazy Stats Sunday

Well I know for some of you who have hundreds of followers that maybe getting a over a hundred views in one day may no longer mean much but yesterday it happened to me for the first time. I also had some great comment interactions and it’s just made really appreciate the WordPress community. I’m a little scared of the interest but also at the same time pretty chuffed that people take the time to read my ramblings.

I spent nearly a 2 years promoting my art on DeviantArt and still had only a dozen or so watcher’s and it seemed very competitive. So thankyou all for making me feel at home.

What was it like for you when you noticed people really taking an interest in your work?

Peace be upon you,

D

Undercurrents

Trigger Warning; Self Harm

You eyes so blue fixated on mine, strawberry blond hair tumbling down your spine. Your smile beamed at me soft and kind but had no idea what you held in your mind.

You pulled up your sleeves to show me your hesitation marks. Suddenly I see you enveloped in dark. How could a soul so young and free as yours, want to drag a knife across your arms and scar.

Was this something you had shown your boyfriend, or was this a special show for me to mend. I cast my eyes down and pretend not see, I’m not wise enough to know what you want from me.

Years later I wonder what happened to you, did you get so brave that you carried it through. Maybe despite the consequences I should of said, nothing but ‘I love you’.

D March 2017

Gods Laughter

I found god laughing at my life, apparently I had not had enough strife, I hadn’t dodged bullets in the Somme, I hadn’t written the greatest love song.

In fact all I did was survive, and for most of that I had devils by my side.

D March 2017

Crazy

We once were great,

Accelerate,

Come meet you fate,

Obliterate.

Out if time,

End if the line,

Feeling fine?

Subsonic sublime.

Echoes and wraths,

Erase our paths,

You do the math,

Dropped the radio in the bath.

Look what you’ve gone and done,

Left us stranded, no game to be won.

Crazy, crazy, crazy mind melted,

You’ll be the gods most hated.

D March 2017