Dave (and Other Girls); Work continues.

So as I focus myself on my writing I’ve reread the first 5 chapters I have of ‘Dave’, it’s characters, scenes and plots and feel the slow creep of inspiration. So many ways this could go.

I posted the first chapter on my blog months ago, link below if ur interested. The chapter I’m currently dealing with deals with an attempted suicide by one of the crew, a dark place I know about but never crossed. I think it’s good to get these ideas out of me, for me it’s not profiteering from misery but a cleansing process that normalises a deep dark set of emotional trauma for me. Will I include that chapter in the finished article… Well let’s see if I finish it first.

Peace D

https://bipolarbycola.blog/2018/04/30/dave-and-other-girls/

Serenity

Serenity in the eyes of a blue angel,

so long we have been singing this ancient fable.

Quick now feel my heart beat for you, in sync, don’t sink…

born to hold you…/upright and launch us to the sky,

high fly, we’ll never die, bullet proof aura of pink.

Green thunder rolls off over blue grass and violet roots,

we’ve turned this world upside down, stand at mountain foots,

leap up the crags to prove I’m here for you,

just exist is all I ask you do.

Look at me again with blue serenity,

love me for all eternity. My dear serenity.

D August 2018

Focus

So it seems I have had several opportunities come up for me recently after a very harsh winter where I felt I had lost everything and the only viable option seemed to be to ride off into the sun set and not return.

Now as my Psyche drugs get balanced right and I look hard into my life I realise I don’t need a councillor, or a saviour, I just need to focus.

Talking with my other half I have discovered I need to trim down my interests and pay attention to what I’m good at. This means writing instead of music and art and Retail instead of Conservation work (which is a flooded job market round my area). I have multiple opportunities to volunteer in retail locally and I’ll be calling the charity Scope back in September when my little one goes back to school.

As for writing I have around 400 poems now, one of which won a prize a few years ago and I just need to collate and find a publisher. I also have 4 novels on the go which need finishing. I just need to apply effort and direction, something I’m very bad at.

Well here’s to a new start and getting on with it … fortunately the paranoia has faded and I’ve reintegrated with the real world somewhat, but I will not let my guard down again versus certain things.

There will be no next time.

Peace D

Bullet Bipolar Tales

I’m the shell shocked lover with a bullet ridden mind,

A labyrinthine tale of woe and highs you’ll ever find.

Don’t hold me tight in the night I may just explode,

Or fall to pieces slowly over the years I reaped then sowed.

So I don’t know if you can hear over this plane crash,

Maybe you shouldn’t hang around while I burn and flash.

I could say I love you but I’m not sure which voice said it,

I feel it coming again but you and me baby are a tight fit, will we split… Or fight these mindless demons and stick!

D August 2018

The day I found out that the MIBs weren’t real.

In fact it was an inside job, the agent of darkness nothing but a pysop conspiracy theory. And now I know I have to fight this demon within with bare words merely.

A loud voice, a quiet whisper to destabilise my train of thought, try to redirect who and what I fought.

But I know you now, I know your Hows, and I will never forget you and how you tried to force me to bow.

You hold a broken chalice and stand naked in your sin, you didn’t know this is a trail I’ve already been.

So my madness ends and yours just begins, see you soon on the flip side where no doubt your still be trying to win, a game that was never played….

D August 2018