Moment of Self Pity

Whether it’s my illness or just conspiring events, I’m on a paranoid low and feeling quite gutless. I’m also recovering from pneumonia.

I feel those close to me are hiding something and I’ve run out of places to turn for or to get help.

So I live in a fog of dread that’s very discouraging and I can only hope that a ray of sunlight breaks through soon.

Tale of self pity I know

Peace

D

Advertisements

Reeds in the sand

Wind blows the tough grasses that hold onto their sand dunes, waving gently to the vast ocean behind which could swallow them soon.

But still they cling, binding sand and forming land.

For me to stand on top and wonder if it was a temporary error of memory or a black op.

D January 2019

Will I Make March

My personal plan with WordPress expires in March 2019 and I’ve already had the hassling emails about price increases etc (well technically you now have to pay for the domain on top of the plan, which in my books is basically a price increase).

So though I may have 200 followers, only 20 odd are active and I’m not sure I want to fork out that amount to continuously spout bad Poetry from the mouth of a bipolary. If there’s a free plan I can default to in March I’ll stay, if not we’ll I guess my Web page precence that first started in 1999 comes to an end. To think I once live streamed to 60,000 music fans. How the world turns.

Will I miss it. Probably not. I have made something more precious than net infamy, something that can’t be quantified or packaged and sold. Nor will I let it be indexed here.

{Third week without a cigarette to}

Peace D

Rules of Engagement

There, in ink and sweat we set our rules of engagement. Honour bound and sacrament.

Then in the raging fire your bore a break, to every line, to prove your feigned stake.

You rattled my armour, melted my plastic soldiers, but if this thing we have dies, it’s on your shoulders.

Maybe it’s just been so long that you thought the rules of engagement had changed, time may pass but my vowels cannot be rearranged, for a convenient future … where you upstand in the platinum reign.

D December 2018

Minnow

“I read your poetry so I don’t need to know you.” So a few lines of text have defined my hue, my colour, my essence, wrapped up to be neatly disposed.

Did I toil night after night on those words no, but your lack of interest shows, the world has a shallow end with minnows like you, who would never be impressed by anything I said or do.

It’s a shame but that’s how the world spins, and when I stare at the moon it will be quite easy to forget that you, maybe, are staring at it to.

D December 2018

The moderate

I’m the extremist when I want to be the moderate, before I fall for the benign.

I’m the speed of a jet fighter before the sports car, slowed down till I’m cycling on the line.

I am the dead shot in the heart, before the miss of the shoulder, till I fail to load my quiver.

I’m the raging alcoholic where 100 is never enough, 1s to many and none donates a healthy liver.

I’m the trip head lost in a psychedelic dream, the one who will never try that again, before I fall for reality.

I’m the hesitation marks on my arm, before the thought that pain would numb it all, till I fall to the crying in the corner with dark voices in my head who threatened such fatality.

I ride up, I ride down, I’m the moderate that rides around.

D December 2018

Swimming Back To You

I woke from a dream last night where your heart was pulling, me back to slumber for one more embrace, fulfilling.

Now I’m stuck in this dark reality where demons hide in corners, I will swim through the days forays. No play…

… They have gold and guns. I have you, in sleep, now and forever, steal my breath until the very end.

D November 2018

Dem’ Wagons

So I fell off the no smoking wagon after a excellent start but it seemed the end of last week to many fans were having fecal matter thrown at them for me to cope with it all. So start again tomorrow and hope I hold to my next quit smoking session and the dreaded co2 machine.

Hoping for a calmer week so I have enough willpower to deal with it.

Peace D