Will it ever be the same again?

I only remember the nights from my youth, brain blanked daylight as an unfathomable force, sending signals to future me in Morse.

Now the sunlight burns my eyes, igniting the vision of wreckage I left on the sea, then all becomes clear the need to flee.

So time to take to the skies in a stolen Cessna, five hundred foot level ignoring ground control, shoot me now F16 … I’ve lost my soul.

D Nov 2017


    These canyon walls bare silence to my anger, my rushing mind hushed to stillness.

    Nature does not care for anguish, it tries it’s best to bring in life’s fullfilness.

    But I stand like a broken pendulum, with no time left to count.

    Me, this wall of stone, I begin to mount.

    Maybe at the summit I’ll find my sanity kept safe, in nature’s lock.

    D May 2017

    Tree Sitting

    When I was just a teen the demons tore at my head, face, eyes, soul. Total destruction was there goal.

    Now the years have past they encircle me, afraid to touch, I have concubines of my own who would put them to the torch.

    I tamed the dragons, made pets of there threats. I’m surrounded by white light and there’s no higher I could get.

    No longer the meek and the strength of my youth they stole now returns. I sit in this tree and send the demons love, nothing left that deserves my burns.

    D April 2017


    The rain ran down my back as I lay in a ditch watching the helicopter pass, I knew then that I would be fighting these demons till the last.

    But my fetch the fox had taught me his tricks, how to avoid the hunters hounds and give them the flick.

    I’m here alive twenty years later, you didn’t expect that, you expected me to burn in my youth not grow old and fat.

    So I sit between today and tomorrow and for once my heart has hope not sorrow, and I’m stringing my arrow.

    D April 2017

    Death of youth

    I used to play amongst the rubble of the old railway station, mortgages, jobs, alien these concepts, like inflation. I swung off broken ladders and read the graffiti, thrown stones as trains rumbled on the still used tracks. Wild youth, alone not running with the pack.

    I met my best friend later and told him of the wondrous ruins I had found, he preferred the forest and the fields and we went to play in them, pushing our go cart up down the hills again, again.

    Five years later there was a knock on my door, my friends sister cried, tears splashing on the floor. My friend was dead, run over by one of those trains, so I went back to the ruined station again, to find his ghost and ask him to come back …

    … But when I got there the station was gone, now stood a second hand car dealer selling over priced crap. My youth now totally erased and done.

    D April 2017


    girl-1530967_1920Blast my way through this oil slick, your not the only one with a boomstick.
    Office towers fall and sink holes open the road, the tyrant is about to explode.
    Standing ten stories tall, my tulpa wipes the unclean away, nothing to make it fall.

    Yes it could of been done the easy way, but you cast the of finger blame my way,
    So now here we are, a city destroyed by its own anger, violence, don’t pander …

    … my intention was clear, I want what you stole, seven years of my soul.
    Humiliation turns revenge, and in the end, there was no other way for it to be.

    D March 2017

    No I Will Not Fix Your Computer

    There are millions of computer configurations running billions of different types of software. Never say your good with computers. Because apparently your supposed to be able to problem solve these machines over the telephone and know exactly what one of these trillion combinations you’re dealing with.

    The irony is I’m self taught and not ‘qualified’ enough to work in the industry. That’s fine, you can fix your own computer I can continue my adventures on the dark net with the part of the population who actually know what their doing.

    I do have a rule that only family get support now but the 3 hours I just spent on the phone to mum could have been spent doing my chores and having a bath. Now I’m all out of sync to tackle my demon psychiatrist tomorrow. Oh well there’s always clonazpam.

    Pop’s lid ….



    Off Grid

    img_1204Go off grid now, go offline now,
    power down the intense mind flow.
    Be gone thought beast of fat sow,
    go off grid now, go be gone now.
    Shut it down now, bring the in the slow,
    power down the intense mind flow.

    One million screaming insects haunt my mind,
    scratching in thoughts of black and divine.
    So many thread, strands and strange finds,
    returning to normality like swimming in slime.

    Go off grid now, go offline now,
    power down this intense mind flow.
    Stop the constant go go go!
    Go off grid now, thought be gone now.
    Shut it up now and bring in the slow,
    power down the intense mind flow.

    Head butt the wall bring the pain to the skull,
    kick in the door and begin the cull.
    Shut it down now, shut it down now,
    I don’t want to think anyhow.

    Bring sleep, bring peace,
    bring me anything but this mind race.
    Give myself to the grace of all,
    please please let me fall.

    D 2014

    Psyche Bullets

    Fox one, fire in the hole, bury those gun shots deeply in your soul. Release now we have you under our control.

    Fox run, the hunters in pursuit, killing all the ‘low hanging fruits’, gone now? Here’s a gag across your mouth to keep you mute.

    Fox down, to much incoming, can’t be stopped, but if I survive those volley of psyche bullets you shot, it will never be forgot.

    Fox escaped, slipped through the nights cracks, running half naked in empty fields, knowledge lent, me a chance to break your seals.

    Fox sleeps, in forest embrace, soft moss and dirty ditch, what a fraught battle we pitch, as my wounds I begin to stitch.

    One bullet, two … Three … … Four and all the more. Licking my scars forever more.

    D March 2017


    It only takes a spark.

    It only takes a spark to light a fire.

    It only takes a fire to light a cannon.

    It only takes a cannon to launch a shell.

    It only takes a shell to make an explosion.

    An explosion to near my face.

    A spark, a fire, a cannon, a shell, an explosion leaving a tear running down my face, but I will not be disgraced.

    D Feb 2017