Sometimes Being Home Is The Best Wander.

I got what I thought was an odd Christmas present from my mum in middle of my winter crisis, the thermal flask above. At the time the last thing I wanted to do was explore but now I kinda get the message, I don’t think it’s was meant in a literally go forth and wander sense. More like, your bipolar,it sucks, explore ways to cope with it and keep yourself out of hospital. I carry it everywhere now and the the most wonderful thing about this flask is my daughter thinks water from it is the best ever (even though it’s just from the tap). You know I think she’s right. Thanks mum.

Peace D

Accept

I need proof of my existence like I need a bullet to the head.

For all I know this is all a dream and the whole world is already dead.

I’ll float in this spiral of empty essence, spinning in infinity,

There’s no book in the world to prove my heritage and divinity.

How the hell are you ever going to understand my insanity?

When you don’t even accept yours….

D September 2018

The day I found out that the MIBs weren’t real.

In fact it was an inside job, the agent of darkness nothing but a pysop conspiracy theory. And now I know I have to fight this demon within with bare words merely.

A loud voice, a quiet whisper to destabilise my train of thought, try to redirect who and what I fought.

But I know you now, I know your Hows, and I will never forget you and how you tried to force me to bow.

You hold a broken chalice and stand naked in your sin, you didn’t know this is a trail I’ve already been.

So my madness ends and yours just begins, see you soon on the flip side where no doubt your still be trying to win, a game that was never played….

D August 2018

Easy Targets

They pick us off like sitting ducks,

Thinking were the spies for the dark.

But we roar, tear and bark.

Kill me once, kill me twice or even thrice, shred my skin and bare my bone.

But even the the hang man closed his eyes on his own. Then we all wonder if were ever wake again. Roll the dice, tricks up and try and pretend your sane.

You know what to expect, but maybe that easy target wanted to be hit. A brazen shout, to state is that the best you’ve got?

Is it, is this it … Who gets the victory lap?

D May 2018

Lithium Swords

The thirty ton tank breaks the top of the hill, I gobble the prescriptions pills. The cannon shakes and an unknown foe falls. For they battle to own it all.

So I dream of dragons and lithium swords, nothing can break this broad. Though I’m only flesh bone and as brittle as this cheap Chinese phone.

I dream dragons to scorch the earth but my mind has no worth. The idle thoughts of a madman, stuck in the sinking sand.

D April 2018

Crazy Soldier

So I took another bullet on the chin, like you’re trying to shoot out your sins.

Am I just your target because I’m the last man standing. The deaths of all my unit you had a hand in.

So what now? Your clip is empty, and I’m still here. Going to bring the reinforcements from the rear? Not this year;

I’m the crazy batshit soldier that burnt all the bridge’s.

D April 2018

Heaven and Hell

To quote the mission;

“I still believe in God [but I beleive] God no longer believes in me.”

When you get prescribed pills that specifically state they are for ‘mistaken beliefs’ you begin to question everything. Can you go beyond good and evil? Will all that am be nothing but a CAT scan on an ancient hardrive in museum of the future marked as ‘That period when we nearly destroyed everything … again’.

I pray for my family it isn’t but I’ve seen some pretty dark stuff recently and I see very little God in mans inherent ability to be totally evil. And blaming Satan is a handy legal get out but I don’t buy it. Rockets and artillery arnt guided by Satan OS.

I feel like putting half the friggin planet on the thinking step. What is wrong you people, you have children blown to pieces, skin falling off and you say I have mistaken beliefs! (And yes I have witnessed all the gore first hand, you get that after working in a hospital, you know when you sane people fuck up and loose your leg in a car accident while stoned) I’m glad to be mistaken. I’m glad not to be in your gang. But hell I’m sure there’s some drug war you can get caught up in, or a new episode of East Enders and a bottle of wine.

Nothing’s changed, Zombie Nation and this angry rant will just disappear into the ether.

Maybe we deserve this. I still see birds feeding from my bird table. I feel so far away from them but there a foot in front of me. They didn’t ask for this. Maybe that’s why God no longer loves me.

Peace D