Serenity

Serenity in the eyes of a blue angel,

so long we have been singing this ancient fable.

Quick now feel my heart beat for you, in sync, don’t sink…

born to hold you…/upright and launch us to the sky,

high fly, we’ll never die, bullet proof aura of pink.

Green thunder rolls off over blue grass and violet roots,

we’ve turned this world upside down, stand at mountain foots,

leap up the crags to prove I’m here for you,

just exist is all I ask you do.

Look at me again with blue serenity,

love me for all eternity. My dear serenity.

D August 2018

Bullet Bipolar Tales

I’m the shell shocked lover with a bullet ridden mind,

A labyrinthine tale of woe and highs you’ll ever find.

Don’t hold me tight in the night I may just explode,

Or fall to pieces slowly over the years I reaped then sowed.

So I don’t know if you can hear over this plane crash,

Maybe you shouldn’t hang around while I burn and flash.

I could say I love you but I’m not sure which voice said it,

I feel it coming again but you and me baby are a tight fit, will we split… Or fight these mindless demons and stick!

D August 2018

Eternal Will

I trusted you all in my misplaced years long ago, then you plugged wires in my head to keep track of everything I said.

Then you wanted me dead and though I have fallen a hundred times I keep on. Because the wires in my head won’t let me be gone.

I’ve seen things that I can’t speak, demons and dyrads fighting in the shadows of humanities soul. I persist even though I do not understand what you are or the goal.

Peace and happiness elude me daily as I live on automatic, so much goddammit static, erratic, fantastic.

I should be dead by now and I don’t know how I made it here, but I feel her heartbeat clear…

… She’s my shield against fear; my dear; my calvary at the rear.

And she will never die because no man has the power to destroy the eternal. It’s not a matter of iron will, it’s matter of what we will.

D April 2018

Digital Wife

IMG_0970

So now we’re bound by copper, fibre optics and crammed transistors. You dance in the electronic dark with your sisters.

Leaving bread crumbs so obvious for me to follow. Asking for money friends payment for your silence but your threat is hollow.

You cannot offer me anything but more torture and pain and constant accusations that I’m insane.

For I know your not her, my digital wife would not be so crass. I don’t care if you call me a grass.

It’s you who is vulnerable with your lies exposed. I didn’t even need to use my computer to make it so.

My wife wraps her wings around me and we cuddle in the world’s information glow. For we know the places you can’t go.

Check your filter, adjust your meter, fly away Paul, fly away Peter….

D April 2018

(Just for note I’m not referring to mind fump in the last line, I’m talking about a much more ancient Peter.)

PS: Had a conjugate phone call from BT to see if they could ‘win me over’ but when I mentioned that my current ISP uses BT as their carrier they said ‘how you finding our sister company?’. After making a poem post about digital sisters I found myself triggered for a moment. Anyway for my clarity I was talking about collectives and some individuals, not net infrastructure companies, while taking about sisters/brothers. To be honest my current ISP kicks arse and I’m glad they are supported in some extent by BT. Also as I just configured my new router to work with it all so I’m not about to upset the apple cart. The most important thing I need in all areas of my life now is stability.

Peace D

Heaven and Hell

To quote the mission;

“I still believe in God [but I beleive] God no longer believes in me.”

When you get prescribed pills that specifically state they are for ‘mistaken beliefs’ you begin to question everything. Can you go beyond good and evil? Will all that am be nothing but a CAT scan on an ancient hardrive in museum of the future marked as ‘That period when we nearly destroyed everything … again’.

I pray for my family it isn’t but I’ve seen some pretty dark stuff recently and I see very little God in mans inherent ability to be totally evil. And blaming Satan is a handy legal get out but I don’t buy it. Rockets and artillery arnt guided by Satan OS.

I feel like putting half the friggin planet on the thinking step. What is wrong you people, you have children blown to pieces, skin falling off and you say I have mistaken beliefs! (And yes I have witnessed all the gore first hand, you get that after working in a hospital, you know when you sane people fuck up and loose your leg in a car accident while stoned) I’m glad to be mistaken. I’m glad not to be in your gang. But hell I’m sure there’s some drug war you can get caught up in, or a new episode of East Enders and a bottle of wine.

Nothing’s changed, Zombie Nation and this angry rant will just disappear into the ether.

Maybe we deserve this. I still see birds feeding from my bird table. I feel so far away from them but there a foot in front of me. They didn’t ask for this. Maybe that’s why God no longer loves me.

Peace D

New Head Gear

I’m trying to be positive about my new head gear for yet another invisible illnesses (sleep apnea).

Kinda makes me look like a high altitude fighter pilot. Hope they give me a cool looking white jet to go with it. Maybe an F22 raptor that drops medical supplies instead of bombs.

Thank you NHS for footing the bill. As always under pressure but awesome.

Peace D

Peace

Despite the dick length competition going on in the world political stage (and you know what, I don’t care, just stop dropping bombs on hospitals and children, I don’t care what ideology you support) … things for me have been quite peaceful. The hackers have backed off or got bored, probably the latter because I’m really not that interesting and I know now how to lock them out, I just choose not to (it’s an ancient technique called tar trapping). Next come the feathers. Wonder who there going to stick to?

Still not my problem anymore, I’ll leave that to Oxford and the Abingdon school boys. If you get that link I may show you a modicum of respect.

Anyway I’m free, discharged from the intensive mental health services and almost firing on all cylinders again. Time to get on with living my life and leaving this petty bullshit behind me.

Hope you good people of word press find peace today

D