Moment of Self Pity

Whether it’s my illness or just conspiring events, I’m on a paranoid low and feeling quite gutless. I’m also recovering from pneumonia.

I feel those close to me are hiding something and I’ve run out of places to turn for or to get help.

So I live in a fog of dread that’s very discouraging and I can only hope that a ray of sunlight breaks through soon.

Tale of self pity I know

Peace

D

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Sky Shadows

I’m not sure if you flap or buzz but I see your shadow in the sky.

And everything is thinly veiled threat, an entity easy to despise.

I hang up a bird feeder for you to gorge upon,

And whistle in the night with a badly written song.

D December 2018

Will I Make March

My personal plan with WordPress expires in March 2019 and I’ve already had the hassling emails about price increases etc (well technically you now have to pay for the domain on top of the plan, which in my books is basically a price increase).

So though I may have 200 followers, only 20 odd are active and I’m not sure I want to fork out that amount to continuously spout bad Poetry from the mouth of a bipolary. If there’s a free plan I can default to in March I’ll stay, if not we’ll I guess my Web page precence that first started in 1999 comes to an end. To think I once live streamed to 60,000 music fans. How the world turns.

Will I miss it. Probably not. I have made something more precious than net infamy, something that can’t be quantified or packaged and sold. Nor will I let it be indexed here.

{Third week without a cigarette to}

Peace D

Rules of Engagement

There, in ink and sweat we set our rules of engagement. Honour bound and sacrament.

Then in the raging fire your bore a break, to every line, to prove your feigned stake.

You rattled my armour, melted my plastic soldiers, but if this thing we have dies, it’s on your shoulders.

Maybe it’s just been so long that you thought the rules of engagement had changed, time may pass but my vowels cannot be rearranged, for a convenient future … where you upstand in the platinum reign.

D December 2018

Minnow

“I read your poetry so I don’t need to know you.” So a few lines of text have defined my hue, my colour, my essence, wrapped up to be neatly disposed.

Did I toil night after night on those words no, but your lack of interest shows, the world has a shallow end with minnows like you, who would never be impressed by anything I said or do.

It’s a shame but that’s how the world spins, and when I stare at the moon it will be quite easy to forget that you, maybe, are staring at it to.

D December 2018

Swimming Back To You

I woke from a dream last night where your heart was pulling, me back to slumber for one more embrace, fulfilling.

Now I’m stuck in this dark reality where demons hide in corners, I will swim through the days forays. No play…

… They have gold and guns. I have you, in sleep, now and forever, steal my breath until the very end.

D November 2018

Wisdom in the Rain

Trails of water slide down the cold window pane, droplets form and split for a lost lovers pain.

My reflection distorted against the black night behind, and on goes the soft clack of wheels on tracks, the train it’s way, it finds.

The neon lighting flickers and droplets for a moment disappear, then the droplets come back, shifted, like the reality you left me in when you never came back.

A blast of wind lashes the formations away, we start again, with a new toy to play.

D November 2018

Pass

Time came to pass and overtook me on the outside lane, I tried to race against it, took it as my refrain.

But these petals falling from the trees cause spots of pain, and I see you, reference, preference, sequenced in the rain.

Time is ahead of me now and I know it will hurt when I get there, but your be able to tend my wounds and care…

…for those last few moments as I take my leave and slowly forget all that I believe.

D November 2018

Small Wins

So I went swimming today and managed a few lengths, despite my AS killing me in the shoulder and spine and the fact there were other people in the pool. It’s not that I don’t like people it’s just there random and unpredictable. I love good company but go into meltdown whenever I’m near to many. Ironically I used to be a party person surrounded by dancing nutters to loud drum and bass.

How things change.

Anyway if I make it again to the pool I might actually qualify as someone who swims! My god a hobby that isn’t based on technology.

Oh and the pool shower has turned my hair into a cloud again, maybe I should also practice at man who gets his haircut.

Peace

D

Microlapse

When you start thinking you’re relapsing because of a physical illness pulling you down and your not quite sure how to get up again.

“I’m not sick but I’m not well” to quote Harvey Danger

Peace

D