I sit, I listen to the chant but I don’t join in. My dragon holds me back from uttering words that may enlighten.

I like my dark corners, my nooks to hide in, it gives me peace, an invisible cloak from the frightening.

Some day the light will come for me and tear me from this body. I won’t go down lightly, not now, not since I saw myself.

Sitting, legs crossed, peaceful in the chant but apart. My love, my hate, my all and my health.

Eyes open, incense tickling my nose, rising like a submarine from the deep … reality.

D April 2017


july2011 158Ocean wave carry my body on the universe.
Wishing so hard that I did not carry a curse.
Calm wind blow on my skin, raise hairs.
Feel the tingling and wish away the cares.
Breath soft feather light air into lungs.
Betray the feeling of being ever hung.

By course I should drown,
disappear without a sound.
Still not ready to fall down,
not going down.

Some things are short,
like these moments of peace,
that slip in-between the gaps,
of a life that is do distort.

Ocean carry me across the stars,
away from the pain so very very far….

D 2014


Vikti eyes reflect a glowing green pyramid, mind set still to await a spirits bid.

The words are not spoken, and I’m not sure you can hear over this. Though once I touched the sun and I felt Bliss.

The ether reeks of demonic ways, a trance that seems to last for days, fate has a habit of parting the ways.

Vikti casts a rune on the floor, to find out what was never known before. Guide us straight through these mists, as we explore.

Am I finding myself or finding you, and when I finally get there what should I do.

Pushing back the night, being a beacon of light. So now fight, or flight.

D Feb 2017


I spent an hour today practicing my own form of meditation. Took me a while for me to find my moment but I calmed enough in the end. As I smelt the incense and listened to the music I drifted on in my imagination. I breathed, grew wings of Raven feather and flew off across a turbulent ocean until the rain on the roof brought me back to reality. Well as much as I ever get back to reality.

Several hours later I’m still feeling calm despite some insane drivers on the road when I went to pick my daughter up. So far I haven’t had to used the tranqs like I have these past few days. It may sound corny but I believe meditation can really help the bipolar mind. Though you have to pick your moments, not force it and find a method that works for you.



Honestly Dishonest

KI’m putting everything on hold for a while. Well that’s what I’m telling myself. I was supposed to attend my wildlife conservation today and I cancelled on a part truth. It’s raining heavily (true), and I can’t get my ear wet due to the burst ear drum I got a couple of weeks ago (not so true as it’s mostly healed now). Really the world just feels too peoply at the moment and I don’t won’t to deal with the public. People are random and do random things and I’d rather snuggle my cat right now.

Also I was supposed to see my councillor tonight but she cancelled on me as she’s off sick. I cancelled on her last week as my ear was exploding. Karma hey!  Could have really have done with her time tonight. So I have my surrogate councillor, which seems to be this blog.

So lots if cancelling going on. Maybe it will give me a chance to meditate today, I haven’t for a few days and I find it really helps calm my mind. I hate the term mindfulness but I’ve kinda developed my own technique mixing up Zen, mindfulness and some runic mediations. As my daughter is at preschool and all my other plans have been cancelled its the most productive activity I can think of today to help this slightly off kilter way I’m feeling. That and saving the world with my latent dragon super powers!

Peace be upon you