Sky Shadows

I’m not sure if you flap or buzz but I see your shadow in the sky.

And everything is thinly veiled threat, an entity easy to despise.

I hang up a bird feeder for you to gorge upon,

And whistle in the night with a badly written song.

D December 2018

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The moderate

I’m the extremist when I want to be the moderate, before I fall for the benign.

I’m the speed of a jet fighter before the sports car, slowed down till I’m cycling on the line.

I am the dead shot in the heart, before the miss of the shoulder, till I fail to load my quiver.

I’m the raging alcoholic where 100 is never enough, 1s to many and none donates a healthy liver.

I’m the trip head lost in a psychedelic dream, the one who will never try that again, before I fall for reality.

I’m the hesitation marks on my arm, before the thought that pain would numb it all, till I fall to the crying in the corner with dark voices in my head who threatened such fatality.

I ride up, I ride down, I’m the moderate that rides around.

D December 2018

Paranoid Triggers

Woke up from heavy sleep today. I’m temporary on olazapine to stop getting triggered from everything. I mean it was getting stupid, just the words or the phrase ‘I’m not German’ spoken by a nurse at the hospital would send me into a blind panic meaning I would spend the next 8 hours on my laptop working out if I was German, or the laptop was German, or if my socks were German, etc, etc…. This has happened before during hypermania meltdown. Both Eire and Italia got it. I once threw out a full bottle of Marmite believing it was Italian. Obviously this kind of behaviour can be very offensive to my chosen country of paranoid targeting. But I’m out of it now. So sorry, that was hyper mind not the person I consider myself to really be.

I’ve known people from all those countries and like people the world over there’s good and bad. So to Eireanne you rock, To Eisbrecher you rock (literally) and the man who’s name I forget because I was only 8 years old but taught me how to ride a motorcycle (scooter) in northern Italy you are the most awesome of awesome. And to keep this post positive I’m not going to mention, as my daughter would say ‘the bad’uns’.

Peace D