Flying Without Wings

When the screens filled with body parts and vaginal clip ‘art’ … I smoked it all away. I knew no other way.

I lost the best years of my life to three rizla, a clipper and a paranoid induced memory of a Bavarian Motor Works zipping into the night. Finger on the stanley ready for a fight … and I smoked it all away, I knew no other way.

Twenty years later I’m stone cold sober and the body parts are real. The female exploitation contained real people. It didn’t go away as the bombs fell and the palm trees swayed.

I just pressed pause and now this shits real. Who hell made the world surreal. But you know it’s fine, you sit on the bench getting stoned because you don’t want to see the sober evil I see in mens eyes. You don’t want realization that no may how much you smoke to get high, you will never ever learn to fly.

D April 2018.

The bits of the story

I see that your logic state can flip at any moment. Chronos father time chained to to your movements.

I think you’ve backed steped so many times now you yourself no longer know what was true. Should have brought a pen and written it in code all night through…

… I did; and what a different story my black book says, but you know ‘everything’ so be on your way.

Leave us fools behind with our outraged mysterious says, while I mutter under my breath ‘bacon’. Till tomorrow my digital friend, be careful how far you make the truth bend.

Because quick the Russians are coming and we all need to retreat to the eighties. And then bunker down before we get battered by me ‘maties.

Did you take the Queens shiling? Do you find the hot sun now too chilling?

D April 2018

Stirring in the sin;

A little bit power may take you a long way but you’ll wake up just as much part of the system on the next day

Steal my mind, steal my heart, steal my privacy, steal my pride, in fact you can have it all, but it’s me on the other side of the glass… are you sure you know which side of the cage your on. Because I see bear traps all around you and an abyss behind me I have no fear of.

Be sure this is what you want before the bombs begin to fall in your back yard.

Didn’t you know life was hard.

D April 2018

The 80 kg backpack

I’m sick of this load, most of which isn’t mine. I look to sky and find nothing but contrails for signs.

Made me a beast of burden to carry your ills. But I’ll be damned if you’re going to break up will.

For I have seen you for what you are, a cog in a machine and you’ve pushed it to far.

The brittle teeth are worn or snapped. And there’s no oil left in this 80 kilogram backpack I’ve had strapped.

So I drop it to the floor with a thundering crash, this is not surrender, this is the dance of the flashed.

No longer blinded by your techno tricks, and to end all of this one button needs to be flicked.

So I’ll meet by the beach and wait for the boat that will never come. Then step into the water as world comes undone.

D April 2018

Paranoid Triggers

Woke up from heavy sleep today. I’m temporary on olazapine to stop getting triggered from everything. I mean it was getting stupid, just the words or the phrase ‘I’m not German’ spoken by a nurse at the hospital would send me into a blind panic meaning I would spend the next 8 hours on my laptop working out if I was German, or the laptop was German, or if my socks were German, etc, etc…. This has happened before during hypermania meltdown. Both Eire and Italia got it. I once threw out a full bottle of Marmite believing it was Italian. Obviously this kind of behaviour can be very offensive to my chosen country of paranoid targeting. But I’m out of it now. So sorry, that was hyper mind not the person I consider myself to really be.

I’ve known people from all those countries and like people the world over there’s good and bad. So to Eireanne you rock, To Eisbrecher you rock (literally) and the man who’s name I forget because I was only 8 years old but taught me how to ride a motorcycle (scooter) in northern Italy you are the most awesome of awesome. And to keep this post positive I’m not going to mention, as my daughter would say ‘the bad’uns’.

Peace D