No I Will Not Fix Your Computer

There are millions of computer configurations running billions of different types of software. Never say your good with computers. Because apparently your supposed to be able to problem solve these machines over the telephone and know exactly what one of these trillion combinations you’re dealing with.

The irony is I’m self taught and not ‘qualified’ enough to work in the industry. That’s fine, you can fix your own computer I can continue my adventures on the dark net with the part of the population who actually know what their doing.

I do have a rule that only family get support now but the 3 hours I just spent on the phone to mum could have been spent doing my chores and having a bath. Now I’m all out of sync to tackle my demon psychiatrist tomorrow. Oh well there’s always clonazpam.

Pop’s lid ….

Peace

D

Your Creativity Wanted! Brave and Reckless Writing Prompt Challenge

I may get brave enough to enter myself, I’m sure some of my follower’s would do really well to.

Brave and Reckless

I have decided to shake things up at Brave and Reckless and sponsor my very first Writing Prompt Challenge #1.  I hope that many of you will decide to participate and take inspiration from the prompt.

Writing Prompt: “The horizon breaks to pieces and the mainline is the twilight”

  1. Using the writing prompt above, write a 100 to 750 word original piece that integrates the writing prompt.  The prompt can used as the title, you can use the phrase intact or break it up however you want within the written piece.
  2. Submissions should be sent by midnight EST on March 31, 2017 to christine.e.ray@gmail.com 
  3. Submissions will be judged by me and a secret guest judge (secret because I haven’t had time yet to ask someone to be guest judge- if you are willing to be my guest judge, let me know!)
  4. The winner’s piece will be published on Brave and Reckless and on your own blog…

View original post 46 more words

Block

wallI just can’t seem to read these days.
The words swim before me,
But blatantly refuse too form,
Into any coherence I can see.

Is it my mind shutting down?
The words are there for me,
But they just won’t go in.
A hieroglyphic mess is what I see.

I just can’t seem to read these days.
The books have so many titles,
But I always pick the wrong ones.
Getting past this block is vital.

Is it my mind shutting down?
All that knowledge for the taking,
But it doesn’t go in any more.
I look like I’m reading but I’m faking.

Words and numbers like so much alien code.
Eyes crossed sideways this brain will not accept,
That I need to know more than is presented,
In this words and numbers, alien code.

D Aug 2003

(A couple of blogs that I follow have been talking about writers block and it reminded me of this poem i wrote years ago. When I’m really up or down I can’t read, never mind write, so the fact I’m posting on a blog nearly daily is a good sign, despite being bipolar and slightly dyslexic its a very good sign.)

Paranoia

modulateLook out the window,
See the van outside,
Is it the monitoring crew?
The illicit undercover few,
Lock the door tight,
and hide under the covers.
Throw away your mobile phone,
Those out there know your alone!

Then in the darkness they will come,
While you pray to see the sun,
The doctors say your paranoid,
But who is to say this isn’t real,
Even if somewhat surreal.

Look out the window,
See the helicopter buzz,
Is it the monitoring crew?
The illicit undercover few.
Lock the door tight,
Throw away your train of thought,
Those out there know your caught!

Then in the darkness they will come,
While you wonder what the hell you have done,
The doctors say your paranoid,
But who is to say this isn’t real,
The devils do their dirty deals.

D 2007

(I get to the point with my blogs when I feel to need to tear it all down, it’s pure paranoia and I’m very prone to it. This time I’m trying to resist the urge. The past months blogging has helped me if no-one else. So I continue … for now.)

Separate

man-with-stick-watching-tvContempt of love lead us to this.
Hallowed feelings lacking the bliss.
I no longer hold you in my arms,
and that is no reason for alarm.

I can’t say I saw it coming so soon.
Some things just burn out in doom.
You no longer hold me in my arms,
and that is all we have to keep calm.

We needed each other and then not so,
the lovers burn slowly faded to a glow.
We no longer hold each other anymore,
then we turned and left through separate doors.

D 2013

(Generally its been a good few days but I’ve been having regretful feelings about the past. Still nothing I can do about it now. This old poem, though about love, kinda sums up my mindset at the moment.)

Life Is Not Everything

dead-wood

Life is not everything, a shadow of me,
exists out there somewhere in the sea.
Breath is not everything, a slight tense,
is making the waking dream come sense.
Light is not everything, the new dark comes,
for the lonely soul who think he has won.
Dark is not everything, light burns the night away
and, well, what else can you say.

You are not my everything, a shard exists,
will not relinquish, will always resist.
I am not everything, I wished I could be,
with eyes closed it is so hard to see.
Love is not everything, it’s cracked,
is it not just about getting one back.
Hate is not everything, it burns the mind,
making the reason for it all hard to find.

I stand alone, I stand together,
we all live this one life forever….

D 2013

(I’ve been getting some nice comments from fellow bloggers and friends on DeviantArt and it has helped my mood. Still I know it’s the chemical imbalance in my head that’s making me feel so dark, the triggers have already tripped, so forgive me if my posts are somewhat morbid for a while. I’m currently searching for my real center.)

Rest

img_0970Rapid fire guns shots in the brain,
electronic counter measures for the sane.
Tin foil helmet for the wifi,
the dope-age getting you high.
Nothing puts an end to this,
maybe this head against fist?

Strange how the afterglow,
cooks in the veins so slow.
It all starts so real, its manic.
Catatonic overflow then panic.
Your a light beams from the tower,
fifty nuke stations for your power.

I see your reflections in the airwaves.
Does your soul come to band aid saves.
Don’t let me twist it any more,
break a leg and hit the floor.
Catch me with you soft breath,
just let my mind once more rest.

D 2013

(Minds on fire today, yet I don’t have the energy to move.)